Suitcases
by CuttingAcidity
Summary: A lot of people say that the commercial for Suits was... Odd. I don't know what you saw, but this is what the commercial in my country implied. I made some of it up, of course, but the skeleton of story came from the ad. (Title: Portmanteau of Suits and Nutcases).
1. Chapter 1

**Suitcases**

**(A/n- The commercial for Suits was ridiculous, and I wouldn't have watched the show, if it weren't for the fact that I had nothing else to do, and I was curious. I didn't know I was watching the pilot, and it was kind of confusing, one guy selling crack, the other threatening the balls of old men. But I fell in love, so here I am paying homage to the crappy ad, and its implications. One of the reasons I write so much is that I'm basically doing my internship in fan fiction in this fandom, I'd like experience before I move on).**

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"How 'bout a beer for Harvey here!?" Mike yelled at the bartender. He, Harvey and Louis were regulars at the Dirty Joe's, so the bartender knew Manhattans' best attorneys _personally_. In some ways they were also the worst lawyers, but that didn't matter when it came to getting results. Then they were the best. But only then.

Mike is the youngest of the trio, at twenty six years old. He is incredibly smart, having eidetic memory, and it had been easy for him to get into various prestigious schools, and eventually a career at the best law firm in New York. He lost most of his family at age ten, and is extremely hyperactive. Some say it is to keep his mind off the tragedies he has lived through. Others say it's ADHD. (It _is _ADHD).

Harvey comes second, at age thirty two. He had attempted to be a 'cool, suave hard-ass', but instead had had to settle for 'seriously surly'. He wasn't actually 'surly', but when he had first joined Pearson Hardman, he had been blonde, and no one, I mean _no one_, had taken him seriously. So he had dyed his hair brown, and put on the surly suit, and managed to garner enough respect to ward of the man-whore jokes.

Louis. Ah, where can I begin? At the age of thirty six, Louis Litt was an excellent lawyer, financial crime being his forte. Other than that, he was a failure. No matter what he did, no one liked him, or respected him at all. There was just this one associate, who was dead scared of him, but he had suriphobia, and Louis had the striking appearance of a rat.

These three men were bonded by the fact that they were roommates who shared an apartment, because Mike had to pay for his Grammy's medical support, Harvey didn't know how to manage a home, and Louis had no one to talk to. Besides, they were best friends, and probably would have stayed together even if they didn't have to.

But tonight was about Harvey, who had managed to win yet another case.

"It was nothing." It really had been nothing. Despite the phenomenal amount of effort he'd put in the case, he'd just barely managed to win it. At least he won.

"No it wasn't, it was awesome!" Mike is grinning as wide as his face can allow. It was tradition to celebrate everyone's wins, and they always won.

"Let's play The Game." The game was another tradition. They had been very young when they had come up with it, but it still held true. They'd tell each other about their day, and the one with the best day, and the one with the worst day was decided. The one in the middle had to pay for drinks, and get everyone home safely.

"Okay, the best day is definitely Harvey's…" said Louis. Till date he had never had the best day, and was usually the one with the worst day, except once when Mike had broken up with Tess. "So it's you and me, Mike!"

"Okay, today I found a rat in my briefcase, which had chewed up all my previous work."

"Ha, I can do better. Harold fainted when I patted his back for good work."

"Oh really!? Well accidentally entered the ladies room and Norma called me pervert."

"That's nothing! Today an associate outright refused to do my work and called me a douche-bag, and when I went to tell Jessica, she called security on me."

"… Seriously?"

"Yes. I had to show her my ID card, and even then she wasn't convinced." Right the Harvey wondered how a person could go through all that.

"Wow… Drinks are on me then." Ross immediately opened his wallet and placed a tab. "That's all I'm willing to pay… Unless any of you gentlemen want to chip in?" When Bothe Harvey and Louis shook their heads, Mike smirked. "Thought so."

"So, Louis," Said Harvey,"I heard you're getting a new secretary."

"Yeah… The old one left to start her own law firm. Only one person actually applied to the ad _I had to personally pay for_ in the newspaper. Her name's Donna."

"Like the reindeer?"

"Yep, I have a reindeer working for me. How cool is that?"

"Very." And the two of them drank the night away, while Mike got them all home safely.

**Next on Suitcases: The new secretary Donna, hot paralegal Rachel and another case for our three misfit lawyers.**

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**(I hate legal dramedies. Hate. Them. Suits is an exception, and I thought it'd be different, as it was aired on Comedy Central. I saw Raising the Bar, and the people are so **_**emotional**_** about **_**everything**_**. Maybe if I liked soap operas I would have liked it, but I don't. The Practice was a little better, and I give it benefit of doubt, because they themselves admit to being 'the lawyers that give other lawyers a bad name'. But I still don't like legal dramedies so much. Maybe I should watch some more Suits…**

**If you like femslash, check out the Rizzoli and Isles fandom. If you like slash, you're in the right place.)**

**Do Reveiw, I'd love to hear from you!**


	2. Second is the Best

**Suitcases 2**

**(I don't own Suits, this is for entertainment purposes only, all names and places are used fictitiously, and are in no way related to anyone, living or dead, and are merely a product of the author's imagination, except for the names and premise of the story, which, uh… I'm not well versed enough with the law to know how much of this**_** I**_** own, but I don't own Suits. You **_**know**_** that.)**

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'Your name was Donna, wasn't it?"

"Yes sir, like the reindeer, sir." Before Louis stood a tall, redheaded woman, grinning like a maniac, who looked around Harvey's age.

"Well… You're the only one who applied for the job, so it's basically yours anyway; we just need to have an interview to get to know you better… Okay?"

"Sure!" was the extremely chipper response from Donna.

"Okay, Donna, how old are you?"

"Thirty one, sir."

"Are you sure?" Louis knew women lied about their age. Donna couldn't be older than what she said, but plastic surgery could do wonders, and Mike looked like he could pass for a teenager, even though he was twenty six.

"Wait, let me count…" She did something on her fingers, smiled, and said "Yep, I'm sure!"

"Okay… Do you intend on becoming a lawyer after this job?" Louis liked to know things in advance; surprises were rarely good in his life.

"Probably, but only once I'm fired."

"So… If we don't fire you, you won't quit?"

"Of course not, if you don't fire me, that means I'm good at my job, and I was told to stick with what you do best!"

"Looks like you've struck secretary gold." Louis turned and was met with the sight of Mike grinning happily, which was apparently his default expression.

"Oh, hi, Mike." Louis glanced at the papers Mike was holding. "What are those?"

"We've got a new case. Or rather, I've got a new case."

"Oh. Congratulations, Mike, you're flying solo." Mike had worked for Pearson Hardman longer than most associates, having graduating early from Harvard, so he was promoted earlier than them.

"Yeah… but I need your help."

"Oh?" Mike hadn't needed Louis' help in a long time, and then it had been operating their new washing machine.

"See, I found a loophole here that would probably sway the jury to my side if I'm emotional enough, but I have some paperwork to do. You're free all day, wanna help?" Even though Louis was one of the best, Jessica couldn't remember him long enough to give him any work. Most of his cases were given to him via Harvey or Mike, who knew his capabilities, and didn't want to work that hard, when there was Louis to do it. Louis turned and faced Dona, who, in the time no one was paying attention to her, had managed to make a model airplane out of office supplies.

"Donna, this is Mike. He's one of the best attorneys here." Donna looked up from adding what looked like a sixth turbine to her tiny plane.

"Oh, I've heard of him, he's one of the Big Three."

"You have?" Neither Mike nor Louis was aware of Mike's involvement in the 'Big Three', although the phrase sounded oddly familiar.

"Oh yes, when I saw the advertisement, I looked up the firm, and it was written that it was the home of the Big Three: Mike, Louis, and Harvey, supposedly representing the three sides of law: Financial crime, Pro Bono, and everything else. I think it is a great privilege to be working for one of them. Especially Harvey, he's very hot, isn't he?" Both Mike and Louis were straight as boards (or at least thought they were), so they didn't quite share the sentiment, but humored the love-sick lady nonetheless. But it was Mike who fully took advantage of the situation.

"So would you like me to introduce you to Harvey?"

"If it's not too much trouble, then yes! Please!"

"Ah, I would… but I don't know a lot about you… for all I know, you might be a psychopath, and I wouldn't want to introduce my friend to a serial killer, would I?" Louis knew where this was going; he'd seen Mike in action before. The master of procrastination, he could wrap almost anyone around his little finger if it would decrease his workload. It usually didn't work on Harvey or Louis, but he could do it if he put his head in it. Donna didn't know of all this, and took the bait hook line and sinker.

"So, my dear Donna, if you would just finish this paperwork for me, I'd know I could trust you, and I would introduce you to Harvey." Donna, ever chipper, nodded along with the statement.

"On second thought…" Donna violently flinched, looking at Mike questioningly. "I can't just pawn off my friend like that… If you would introduce me to a Miss Rachel Zane, I'd call it even." Donna nodded, saluted, and grabbed the paperwork before Mike could increase the price.

"Rachel, eh?" Louis smirked at Mike. He knew very well that his friend had a crush on the admittedly good looking paralegal, and it provided the most wonderful ammo to tease him with, as he knew Mike couldn't deny it.

"Hey, just because nobody likes _you_, doesn't mean _I _can't like someone." Ouch. "Anyway, we're due to get another case, seeing as Jessica chose to spend the better part of this lecturing him." The Big Three, as they referred to themselves from then on, liked to share their work, even though they were paid rather well. Jessica always wondered who the 'Louis Litt' was that she was paying, but just assumed he was one of their IT guys, or a janitor, or something.

Harvey walked in carrying a thick pile if papers.

"So, after being riddled with warnings, scolding, what sounded like a standup routine, I got this. Help me out with this?" he dropped the stack of sheets on Louis' desk, and sat down. Mike took a seat next to him, and looked through some of the files. Louis picked up some sheets and looked over them. Raising his eyebrows, he turned on his computer and clicked a few times. After about half an hour of that, he looked up from his computer.

"Gentlemen, either Jessica is playing a joke on us, or whoever cheated on this company was really, really stupid." He turned his computers desktop around to face Mike and Harvey, who had apparently not made as much progress as Louis. "See this? This is the value of this company's stocks. And this," he said, displaying a sheet of paper in one hand, "is the profit listed by the company. There is no way this match." Seeing his friends' confused expressions, he began to elaborate. "See, these numbers are false because their value is too close to approximate value of the stocks. Whoever changed the number has little knowledge of how a business operates, as the business would need to use some of its profits to pay electricity bills, water bills, etc. Then there are wages, and paying the stockholders their share. Then are the other costs that often don't make much of a difference, but altogether, would decrease the overall retained profit smaller. Someone falsified this number. It will be more apparent if you look through the other costs. That means that this number is higher than what the business actually made. The question remains, though, that who did this and why?" Harvey and Mike shook themselves out of the dazed trance they had fallen in and set to work hurling various hypotheses at Louis, who was feeling very proud of himself, even though the error he had uncovered could have easily been spotted by a thirteen year old.

"What if someone was embezzling from the company, reducing the cost, and wanted to hide it?" Louis nodded at Mike, feeling like a teacher, listening to all the kids trying to come up with answers to a particularly hard sum he had given them. "That is a possibility, but then why pretend the profit was higher than it was? Why not just leave it as it was, so as not to arouse suspicions?"

"Maybe he wanted the boss to think that profit was high," said Harvey. "… Okay, forget that-"

"No! You might be onto something!" Mike's eyes lit up as he got up from his seat. "This person doesn't know much about business, so he is obviously not in a position that requires even a base knowledge in that field." Harvey let Mike enjoy the triumph of figuring all that out, before adding his own two cents.

"This is a university, so we can exclude the business teachers, the administrators, and probably anyone who knows addition and subtraction." It truly was a stupid mistake, which had been uncovered in less than an hour. "That still leaves a lot of potential suspects. So let's narrow it down to people or departments on probation. I bet we'll be able to find evidence of it further in the report." Louis flipped through the files.

"You're right, we've got a suspect. This university's art department is heavily underused as no one applies for it anymore. The university was probably planning to scrap its art program, so one of the art teachers probably must have tampered with the financial reports. We can further narrow it down, but who has the time?"All three of them grinned, and arranged the papers.

"Let's let Louis hand this in, he figured most of out- wait what were we looking for?" Mike looked at Harvey, who shrugged.

"I don't know, I tuned out most of what Jessica said. Most of it made no sense." Jessica was a much stressed out woman, so by the time she got to Harvey, well…

"I understand that." Mike turned to Louis. "Tell Donna to give me my files at my cubicle, I want to make all the other associates jealous."

"She needed a trip to cubeville anyway."

"Oh yeah," said Harvey, "what happened with your new secretary, the reindeer?"

"Oh, it's _swell_. Poor thing has a terrible crush on you, and mike managed to wheedle her into doing his work for him." Mike grinned, and pretended to doff his imaginary hat.

"Aw, no need to flatter me. Anyway, I should be going. Good luck with Jessica, Lou." He took his things and skipped back to his cubicle. Harvey and Louis followed.

"Well, I have some paperwork to do, but tell me more about this crush you say your reindeer has on me when I'm done."

"Will do." Louis walked towards Jessica's office, and knocked on her glass door.

"What the- Security!"

"Oh, for the love of…"

**Next on Suitcases: Mike sues his Grammy's care centre, and Harvey's mother has some news**

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**(a/n- I am practicing the art of writing a story without using the mouse even once, and I have to say, it's rather easy if your grammar and spelling is extra, extra good. **

**Mine isn't.**

**Usually, I have to work extremely hard to just reach 1000 word. This time I reached 1700 with ease. I am only in my first year of IGCSE as a business student, so I apologize for any mistake I might have made. Thanks to the guest who reviewed on the first chapter, you know who you are. I don't. Oh, and does anyone want Louis paired up with anyone? Send in your opinions, or OCs, if you'd like.)**

**I don't think I need to tell you that I appreciate reviews ;)**


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